Rough day today. Went to DBT Group (Dialectic Behavior Therapy) today and had some realizations that I hadn't really put into cohesive thought before.
First and most important, I'd say, is that I do self-harm because I didn't get validation for my feelings as a kid, so I started hurting myself so that I would have something to show for my pain. Interesting. I was neglected as a kid, and this combined with genetics caused me to be depressed from a very young age. I remember wanting to get away from people and just be alone as far back as kindergarten. And that's about how old I was when I remember starting to feel guilty and I have definite memories of feeling ashamed then, too. I thought for a long time that I had missed out on some mass punishment that everyone in my school got but me. So there was that hanging over my head for a long time -- obviously since I remember it so clearly.
Anyway, enough about my sad childhood. I'm through Chapter 10 in my editing process, WOO HOO! I can't wait to get together with my graphic artist and start working on book covers! It's going to be so wonderful to have a really great book cover. It's so important, and yet when I produced my first book I went about it pretty non-chalantly. Sorry I don't know how to spell that. I made up my own cover first time around with a photo that I took myself. I hope that the next printing of my first book is much more relevant and catchy.
Okay, back to the editing. I hope this post was worth reading. Especially for everyone out there that does self-harm. You're not alone. You can email me to chat about it if you like. And of course I welcome any comments you might have.
Thanks for reading!