Hope

So my problem is now that I have no hope. I just realized that's what's been wrong these past few months. No job, and no pretensions for getting one. I've gained a lot of weight which I'm slowly getting used to since I can't seem to get myself to exercise. I have a lot of headaches and I'm smoking a lot which is not where I want to be. I can't sit still long enough to read or watch movies or TV.

Recently (within the past few days) I started working on my second book again. Trying to rewrite the ending because I wasn't happy with the old one. But I've got tendinitis in my right elbow so I can only write about two pages at a time. At least I'm writing.

I'd like to work on my sculpture since I seemed to have a knack for that, but again, the elbow.

Anyone else lost hope and actually found it again? I feel so lost and alone, and this blog is the only way I can work it out. Because I can't afford a therapist, lol. It all looks down from here.