Wow, two years gone!

I'm amazed to read that last post. I'm a mess again. Maybe it's the season, but I'd say things have been bad a good long while -- maybe since that last post even. I started running over a year ago. Hired a personal trainer to help me. Also joined weight watchers. Lost 85 lbs. kept running. My personal trainer killed himself in August. Really hard. Joined a training group, made all of one connection, but managed to run a half marathon in Richmond in November. Big deal then. Today it's hard to make myself run. My runs are so hard suddenly. I get out of breath or breathing too hard and I end up taking a zillion walk breaks. Ran with my brother the other day -- his reappearance in my life is another whole long story -- and he inspired me to push harder and run a bit more than I thought I could handle. So I'm still running, but I stopped going to weight watchers in March when I reached my "goal weight." And I've gained almost 20 lbs back -- even with the running. Yes, I'm eating a lot of crap. A ton of sugar. But I gave up Diet Coke and I'm drinking a lot of water. So two good habits established, and I'm still smoke free 3+ years later! So that's my little summary. I'm going to try writing here a lot more (I know, once a year would be more) but yeah, I need to get some stuff off my chest.